Getting off the White Stuff


I gave up dairy two weeks ago. That may not sound like a big deal to you, but I’ve been a total dairy fiend my entire life. I used to like my cappuccinos large and frothy and my yoghurt in epic proportions. Now the thought of it makes me feel sick – isn’t it funny how things change?

Since I began eating primally a year ago, I’ve managed to whittle my love affair with the white stuff down to the high-fat essentials – cheese, greek yoghurt and double cream. The thing is, I’ve always had a sneaky suspicion that I’m intolerant to dairy, so I finally decided to give it up and see what happens when I re-introduce it in a month’s time.

So two weeks ago, I stopped cold turkey, and then WHAM, I got major withdrawal symptoms. Seriously! Nobody talks about this. I thought I was coming down with the flu. I felt like absolute shit for eight long days. I suffered from fatigue, headaches, brain fog, blocked sinuses, ear pain, a sore throat, not to mention the frequent and rather bizarre toilet trips. Mucous was coming out EVERYWHERE, and I mean that. I thought I was going mad until I googled it and found a few sites that described similar reactions. I can’t believe how extreme it’s been. I wonder if that’s a sign that I am actually intolerant, or am I just being a pathetic whining baby who wants her bottle back? I guess we’ll find out in a month.

So in the last few days the symptoms have finally cleared up, and to be honest, I was expecting to feel bloody amazing. I’m not. I mean, I feel fine. Normal. I haven’t had any mad cravings for it (which others have described), and likewise, I haven’t noticed any particular benefits. I have dropped a few pounds, but I’d attribute that to eating clean rather than the lack of dairy. Maybe I need to be off it longer to get the full effect? Either way, I’m happy enough to keep going as I’ve found it relatively easy to live without. The only thing I really miss is a splash of cream in my morning coffee, but that’s about it. I don’t need cheese in my omelette and I certainly don’t need to eat half a carton of Greek yoghurt in one sitting and then wonder why my stomach bloats and I feel like shit all day.

So that’s it for now, I’ll keep you updated. If you’ve had similar reactions please tell me because I’d love to know that I’m not a total freak.

Coconut Pancakes

coconut pancakes

Now I’m generally an omelette-for-breakfast kind of girl, but sometimes I get a hankering for something a bit more substantial at the weekend. Enter coconut pancakes. They’re a bit more effort than scrambling an egg but still fairly quick to whip up. For me, they’re the epitome of Sunday breakfast perfection. Plus my toddler goes absolutely apeshit for them.

Makes 3-4 servings

1 tbsp coconut oil, melted
1-2 tbsp raw honey*
5 eggs
120ml (1/2 cup) coconut milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
65 g (1/2 cup) coconut flour
1 tsp baking powder
2 pinches salt

1. Microwave the coconut oil to melt it, then whisk in the honey.
2. Whisk the eggs in one at a time.
3. Add the coconut milk and vanilla extract.
4. Add the coconut flour, then the baking powder and salt.
5. Heat some ghee (or coconut oil) in a pan on a medium heat. Ladle in some mixture – keep them small or they’re impossible to turn.
6. Flip when the bottom is brown and cook on the other side.
7. Serve with honey and blueberries.


* The best type of honey to use is raw honey, which is vastly different to the supermarket-bought variety. Raw honey is an absolute powerhouse of nutrition whilst conventional honey is, well, sweet, but not nearly as good for you. Since I went paleo, I’ve been trying and failing to get my hands on raw honey in Ireland. I’ve searched a tonne of health food shops and several shops online, but so far nothing. But if you can get it, USE IT!

My dieting history

Like most women, I’ve spent a huge proportion of my adult life obsessing over my weight. I have been at war with the same 10-15 lbs (which sit on my thighs and arse) for at least ten years. I guess that’s the sad reality of being a woman these days.

I’ve read a tonne of diet books. I used to buy them, devour them, then conclude that they were flawed in some way (which they generally were), and put them in my secret cupboard with the other tomes of disappointment. Eventually my frenzied reading led me to paleo and, for the first time in my life, I changed my focus to health instead of weight. Sound the bells of triumph! But we’ll get to that in a bit. First I want to tell you about a few moments in my dieting history.

No diet
In university I drank beer, ate toast for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, and pasta (the only thing I could “cook”) for dinner. In the evenings I would binge on wham bars and chocolate. I didn’t do vegetables, except for stir-in tomato pasta sauce. At the time I was fairly active at the gym, plus I was in my early 20s, so my body forgave me and I was able to keep my (above normal) weight reasonably stable. I wasn’t massive, but I was definitely carrying more than I should on my small frame, plus my cravings for chocolate donuts were legendary. The first thing I did when I finished college was give up beer and without changing anything else I dropped half a stone.

My first “proper” diet was The Dukan Diet. The book was getting attention in the media and I decided to give it a go. I committed 100% to it and got down to the lowest I’ve ever weighed as an adult. Even less than when I got married. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s basically low carb AND low fat (read pure torture), and you’re allowed as much aspartame (sweet, sweet cancerous chemicals) as you like. The food was relentlessly monotonous and the protein-only days made me damn near suicidal. It was impossible to eat out or leave the house for any amount of time unless I brought a packet of ham with me. Somehow, I managed to stick to it for about a month, but it came to a head when I was away with some friends and someone offered me a sausage. That was it. That was literally all it took. A sausage. Cue binge eating for weeks to regain the weight I’d so painstakingly lost. Oh, and then I got pregnant.

After my daughter was born I decided to join Unislim online to lose the excess baby weight. I’d enjoyed eating for two and I was carrying at least 30 lbs more than I should have. I was a new mother and wanted to take the “sensible” route, so I followed this typical low fat, calorie-controlled diet. The food was fine but the portions were small. I thought about eating constantly, and the “treats” (like having one Jaffa cake – WHO EATS ONE JAFFA CAKE?!) drove me berserk and, in the end, whilst I got the weight off by eating substantially less, it didn’t really teach me anything or improve my relationship with food.

Over the years I’ve had a few goes at Atkins, with varying degrees of success. At the beginning I made the mistake of not counting carbs accurately and overeating dairy. I also fell into the trap of buying their own-brand chocolate bars which always stalled me. No wonder – have you looked at the chemicals ingredients in those things? Anyway, I found that I was able to get my weight down quickly by following the “induction” allowance for carbs (two small green salads a day – the rest was meat and high fat dairy). So if I needed to fit into a dress I would follow this incredibly low-carb regime (usually scrimping on the vegetables) and I would drop about 10lbs in two weeks. But when you do something so extreme there’s always a fall back and when you suddenly consume more carbs you just bloat.

I did try to stick to the low-carb principles in general, but I really missed fruit. I also became obsessed with the net carb values in everything. When you’re agonising over whether you’re “allowed” to add an extra clove of garlic (1 gram net carbs) to your stir fry, something’s not right. Plus, whenever I didn’t have an impending event to diet for, I’d eat low carb all day and then splurge on biscuits and chocolate in the evening. I was stuck in a vicious cycle of being on or off the diet and would frequently overeat on a Sunday because I was going to get strict on a Monday. It was a crap way to live. But then along came paleo.

One evening, about a year ago, I was looking at my account on Amazon and scrolling through its recommendations for me. They were all diet books, go figure. I came across Mark Sisson’s The Primal Blueprint, and read through hundreds of positive reviews. I was cynical as always, but nonetheless I couldn’t resist it. When it arrived a few days later I read it in one sitting. It made so much sense. It changed everything. I started following Mark’s Daily Apple and giving out to my parents for eating low fat butter. I managed to deal with my dirty Splenda habit and found a love of cooking I never thought I’d possess. I stopped seeing fruit as evil and mushrooms as excessive. I now have a staple set of paleo meals that taste better than anything I used to cook, and my husband recently said that my portobello mushroom burger “buns” are better than bread. Insert stunned silence here.

I genuinely believe that I’ve found a way to eat for the rest of my life. Yes, there are wobbles and spectacular fall-outs (a week in Berlin drinking beer and eating kebabs, ahem), but I find myself coming back to it every time I fall off the wagon. Which means I’m not on a wagon at all. This is just the way I eat. It’s my new normal.